I've got a story about friendship for you today. The topic: jealousy.
A dear friend of mine recently asked me if we could talk. She said she had wanted to bring it up sooner, but felt now was the time.
"I need to get clear about a moment of jealousy in our friendship. I felt jealous of you. It wasn't a dark jealousy, and I didn't resent you, but it did spark a trigger in me and I needed to tell you," she said.
We had a beautiful conversation about how jealousy doesn't have to be ugly, although, it so often is. She told me I inspired her to be her best, and I felt the same way. We are so close because we see the good in each other and are lifted higher.
That's not how it often goes. Jealousy takes root when we see our friends, women in our circle and online thriving in their strengths.
We have a not-so-pretty-gut reaction. We resent them. We talk them down. We distance ourselves, make excuses for why it was easy for them to shine, and why it's so hard for ourselves, and give reasons they are undeserving.
Underneath all the dark sides of jealousy, there is a lot more happening if we choose to take notice.
What's really happening when you're jealous:
-you're seeing your own potential called out
-you're face to face with your own fear of inadequacy
-you have the choice to respond to the call to be great, or let your jealousy make you suffer below your potential
When you begin to see other women killing it, notice that pain inside.
Is it asking you to step forth in a new way?
Is it calling you to step up and stand in your strengths?
Jealousy doesn’t have to be ugly. Let it point you to your potential, let it lift you higher.