Finding Personal Power through Letting Go of Old Narratives

Finding Personal Power through Letting Go of Old Narratives

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When you find yourself questioning what you once saw as the “right” way of living, and determine that it no longer meshes with how you feel and experience the world, what do you do? 

One option is to take the brave step towards deconstructing your life and examining it, one precious piece at a time.

To discover and break down barriers is a frightening concept to face, but I can say that being willing to face my fears of losing my identity and belonging in religion has brought me so much richness on the other side.

After years in a community of faith, I found myself questioning the cultural norms that I had accepted for so long.

Questions arose as I became aware of my inner spirit coming into conflict with what I saw being lived out around me. I eventually allowed myself to claim my own voice, and what was once a tender topic gradually became a tool for self-empowerment. 

If you’re on the path of evaluating your faith, or cultural norms, take a moment to pause and look around at your community, at the messages you view in social media, at your inner dialogue, and ask yourself: 


Am I clinging to things

and people that don’t serve me?

Have I become too comfortable

with things that are unhealthy?


—What do I need to let go of?—


Sometimes we need to take a look inward in order to allow ourselves to discover who we truly are. 


This is not a topic limited to Christianity or Religion, but simply a larger question of what it means to be willing to let go of parts of your identity or community when they no longer feel safe or supportive.  

Whether you’re already on your own path through deconstruction, or you have come through to the other side after facing some tough questions, I hope you’ll find some encouragement in My Conversation with Kristen Lohr or in my story about leaving Evangelical Christianity. 

In the spirit of self-trust,

The Soul Aligned Morning is a meditation I created in support of becoming quiet and trusting and valuing your inner voice. 

3 Simple ways to end the drama and shift to love

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 I love me some juicy drama. 


I'm a creative type, so I tend to create dramas and stories in my head with elegance. They are elaborate, toxic, and they make me feel like sh*t. Yet, I still catch myself making up stories about why I'm not worthy, loved, or wanted.  I'm sure I'm not alone.

How familiar are these situations to you?
She is super distracted and short at work… Is she mad at me?!
He forgets to do the dishes…  I’m not important to him.
My friends haven’t called in a week… I’m probably annoying them with my problems.
The guy didn’t reply… I’m unworthy and will probably be single forever.

Well that escalated quickly, don’t you think? We love to tell ourselves stories about other people’s motives, how their actions are a reflection of our worth, and when they don’t meet our expectations, we take it way too personally.

All of our offense, our internalizing, our grudge holding, all of the stories are rooted in fear:
Fear of being alone.
Fear of being disliked.
Fear of not being enough.
Fear someone else could do it better.
Fear, fear, and more fear.

The truth:
People are generally more concerned with themselves than they are with you. When she looks at you wrong, when someone snaps at you, when you’re tempted to create a story about why something happened, STOP. Stop and shift from fear to love. Don’t allow your mind to create fear-based dramas. 



Here are 3 simple ways to end the drama and shift from fear to love:
(AKA from drama to sanity.)
1-Drop the assumptions + don’t take everything personally. 

Trust me, it’s not personal. Remember other people’s actions are more about them than you. You don’t know why they are responding how they are. Let go of the need to internalize it, fix it, or take responsibility for other people. Choose to have a heart of non-offense, you never know what they are going through. 
2-Remind yourself that you are loved, whole, and worthy as you are.
No need for drama, offense, and panic when you feel stable in yourself. Life is so much more freeing this way! If you need a little help, repeat the mantra: I am safe to be myself. And screw the rest…. Just kidding...  (Heck, do whatever it takes!)
3-Review the scripts you already have playing. 
It’s a good time to reflect and see why you are jumping to conclusions. The stories you write say a lot more about you than others, and you're probably looking for ways to affirm the fear-based beliefs you already hold.  What do you believe to be true about yourself and the world?

P.S. Snag my FREE download on writing new stories here!

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Stop playing small and create the life you love!

*** This article was originally published as an email sent to the Tribe in 2016. If you want  fresh content delivered right to your inbox, >> join! <<

3 Simple Ways to Stop Playing Small and Create a Life You Love

You’d be shocked at how small I can become. Like those skilled contortionists at the circus, I've molded myself into an ideal image I thought I was expected to uphold. I knew how to play the game, keep everyone smiling, keep everyone clapping.  

I tried to make everyone happy, lived for other people’s expectations, never asked questions, and avoided stirring the pot at all costs. 

"Play nice. Play your part. Play it safe. Play small."

I tried so damn hard to fit into a box; a box that I willingly jumped in, I might add!  

The prison of expectations and the shame for falling short was not something I could blame others for. I was the one who needed the approval. I was the one who wanted to have everything under control. I was the one playing so small…

That is until I decided to own my life, play to my strengths, and let go of the opinions of others. 

If you’re unsure where to start, here are MY 3  go-to tips to get aligned + come alive:

1. Get honest + put pen to paper! 

Journaling is one of the most effective ways to discover who we are, what we want, and coach ourselves through our mental blocks. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time either. Give yourself 5 minutes a day. The hardest part is just sitting down to do it! 

>> If you don't already have it, snag my free journal guide to get started! 

2. Find your true tribe!

Take an inventory of the people in your life. Are they supportive of your growth? Do they help you become a better you? Do they know the real you and love you for all your strengths, quirks, and weirdness? If not, it’s time to make a shift. Don’t waste any more time trying to convince people of your worthiness. Get around people who already know; they are your true tribe. 

3. Take a risk.

You can’t play big if you’re committed to staying small and safe! Go to that dance class that intimidates you. Ask a new friend out to coffee. Apply for the job. Make the damn thing. Commit to your growth + healing. Just make a move, girl! 

I dare you create your own ideal life; reject the role you were never meant to play and take the lead in your own life. Free yourself from the prison. Jump out of the box. Give yourself permission, I promise the only one keeping you small is you. 

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