5 Affirmations To Change Your Story Today

Those things you say to yourself, the things no one else can hear, I know they hold you back from your best life. They hold you back from making new friends, from putting yourself out there, from making the leap of faith, from pursuing your passions and curiosity. They keep you stuck in your old story, stuck in fear. 

"You're a failure...
you are pathetic...
you're fat..
you can't wear that...
you'll never be like her...
no one cares what you have to say."

Sound familiar?? 

Those thoughts bring you down, they discourage you, they keep you stuck. BUT, you can change them. How? You start by noticing them, then, you change the story.

I didn't used to think affirmations were necessary. Honestly, I laughed at the thought of repeating cute little phrases to myself, until I found myself repeating quotes to myself in hard times. I started researching affirmations and retraining your mind, and it turns out, affirmations play a huge part in thinking in a new way. 
What story are you playing over and over in your head? 

Here are 5 affirmations to change your story today:

For when you’re stressed:
I let go and accept.
For when you’re hurt:
Forgiveness is my superpower.
For when you feel like an imposter:
I deserve this success. I accept all that’s coming to me.
For when you’re scared:
I can do hard things.
For when things aren’t going how you planned:
I can create a new story.

Creating new thoughts doesn't come natural. Don't be discouraged when it's uncomfortable. Keep working at it!

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need any more tips or tricks regarding making your thought life healthy. Shoot me an email, or find me on social media. I love getting to chat with you!


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Kindness isn't Always a Virtue + how to make the switch from being kind to being genuine

When I was young, my idol was Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. She was beautiful, smart, positive, and most of all kind. I admired her ability to be loving and joyful in all situations. Being positive felt natural for the most part. I carried a journal with me for an entire year called, “The List of Things I Love.” I still have it too, besides for the page dedicated to a high school boyfriend… oh geeze.

Kindness was my ultimate goal. Since childhood I've made gratitude lists.  I wrote people kind cards and encouraging letters weekly. I won an award for being the most positive person in high school. SUCCESS!!  I was acting like the person I genuinely wanted to be. But it wasn’t the whole truth.

My kindness was a way for me to uplift people, but it was also a mask I hid behind. More than wanting to BE kind, I wanted to be SEEN as kind. I wanted to please people. I wanted them to like me.  In my desperation to be liked, I hid my real feelings. I sucked up and flattered everyone. It’s funny how disingenuous I was, considering positivity is a natural strength of mine. The pure heart of positivity I had naturally was tainted by my inability to be real with myself.  

Learning to be okay with my frustrations, to experience my anger, to stop letting people off the hook- it was hard.  I had to learn what forgiveness really meant, and what kindness really meant. I had to learn how to be genuine, and to admit that I could never be perfect. (Darn.)

Now I realize that, more than kindness, genuineness is the true virtue.

Here are 4 ways to make the switch from kindness to genuineness today:

  1. Stop flattering everyone and give more compliments. Speak up for the good you see, as long as you’re sincere. Make your words have weight. Many believe that when God spoke, the universe was created. I want to have weight in the things I say. Let them be sincere.

  2. Stop saying, “It’s okay!” when it’s so clearly not. Tell people the truth.

  3. Say no when you want to say no.  Your yes will hold more weight this way. You will be more respected. You will be genuinely agreeing in spirit and in action, and it will feel a whole lot better than a half-hearted yes.

  4. Everyone is not meant to like you. Some people just don’t click. Don’t dwell on it, just go and find your people. (They exist, I promise!!)

  5. Check your motive. Ask yourself why you are doing something. Are you longing to be seen? Are you needing affirmation? Are you seeking approval? Is this action coming from love or fear?

Genuine kindness is a virtue. It’s kindness willing to go unseen. It’s from the place of love, not fear. If your kindness is a mask, you will feel fake, fearful, and isolated. The real you is better. (Even if she pisses a few people off and says no.)

Have an amazing week! Thanks for sharing a part of yours with me. If you enjoyed this article, please share with your friends and tag me so I can see! I love it when I get to connect with you on social media. xx, Madison.

WANTING MORE AUTHENTIC ENCOURAGEMENT?

How to show up as your best every day.

Be as you wish to seem. -Socrates

One of my biggest fears since I have began coaching is not that I will fail, (although I’ve had that thought,) It is that I will not be as I seem to be.

What a shame if I was a successful coach, encouraging and loving people, but the people in my everyday life, like friends and family, did not feel that same love from me.

What a shame if I had a perfectly curated photo with beautiful quote on instagram, but was not living out the quote in my daily life.

What a shame if I wrote blog posts about taking care of my body and my mind, but was too busy to do those things!

I don’t think the desire, to be as I wish to seem, is anymore a struggle of a coach as it is an issue of integrity for anyone, particularly in the social media world. There is so much temptation to curate a lifestyle online that is only partially there in reality. We wish to seem a certain way, it’s a mask in a sense. It covers up who we really are with a similar, yet distorted, curated, perfected, filtered versions of ourselves. That version, is who we wish to seem to be. Or maybe even just who we wish to be. 

If we are not careful, we can lose ourselves in the wishing and the  seeming, and start to believe that if we seem like it, then we are like it.

Unfortunately, no matter how perfect our media accounts are. No matter how witty, how artistic, how wise, curated, or even happy we seem to others, it doesn’t make it real. And that fact is terrifying. Because at the end of the day when you log off social media, or go home, if you are not living the life you wish to seem to be, you’re unfulfilled. And I just won’t settle for that.

So, I have made a commitment to be as I wish to seem. And I simplified it, cuz everything is better made simple. 

4 life-hacks for being your best:

1. Be as you wish to seem.

Being as you wish to seem is not about refraining from sharing beautiful images.  It’s not about refraining from sharing a quote that inspires, or sharing the highlight of our day! Share the best, share what inspires, share beauty, encourage, and love.

But just don’t let it end there.

2. Take off the mask.

I will not lie to you. When you take off that mask, you may not love what you find at first. This doesn’t mean sharing your ugly moments, health concerns, or relationship issues with the general public. This is being real with yourself and your safe people. Tell them what you want, show them where you are, and be honest. (ps. not everyone deserves this kind of intimacy with you, read about safe people and figure out who your people are).

3. Put on radical acceptance.

Approach that raw version of yourself with grace and acceptance. Don’t judge her for not matching up to what you’ve tried to curate her into. Don’t judge her for being in progress. Let her have an “off day,” an ugly cry, then move on.

4. Grow into your best.

Once you can see yourself in grace and acceptance, half the work is already done! Living the life you wish to seem is more close than it has ever been. It’s time to be courageous with yourself. Do the things you long to do. Start to do the self work. Acknowledge the things you want to change, and in love, make the changes!

Hire a coach. See a counselor. Go to that fitness class. Start to journal. (Get a FREE journal guide here!!) Make the little changes that over time end up changing everything. 

Share with your friends what lights you up. Go to coffee with someone because their presence is enough. (And sometimes, be fully there without taking a photo or sharing it!) Be honest with yourself about what you want: if you want a lifestyle like so-n-so, go LIVE it. If you’re inspired by her confidence or ability to travel or the way she pursues her passions, go, find your confidence. Go on the trip you are dying to do on. Go and live, in real life, all the desires of your heart.

Be as you wish to seem. Be your best.

CRAVING AUTHENTIC ENCOURAGEMENT??