Creating a Life you Love with Connie Chapman | Interview via The Bravery Board

Creating a Life you Love with Connie Chapman | Interview via The Bravery Board

From 2015-2017 I was a part in co-founding The Bravery Board- a mental health collective and podcast. This is one of my favorite interviews I did. Learn more about The Bravery Board here. 

Do you run from "bad" days, avoid "negative emotions," and try to keep life within your control? Then this interview with life coach, Connie Chapman is going to soothe your soul. Connie shares with Kate and Madison about her painful journey to personal health. Through years of self-doubt, victimhood, and a battle with bulimia in her twenties, she ended up moving back with her parents at 27. At her "rock bottom" Connie was led to a life-coach who changed her life and path forever.

She now allows herself to feel her emotions, lives from alignment, and trusts that this "personal growth journey" is just that, a journey, not a destination. She now empowers women to surrender control and live in joy from the inside out through her work as a life coach, speaker and writer, empowering big dreamers and soul seekers to create lives they love (from the inside out). Through her international 1:1 coaching practice she has personally guided hundreds of women and men to break free of their limitations and unlock their true potential.

Connie is the creator of The 90 Day Transformation Project, and host of the top ranking podcast Awaken Radio, which shares heart-felt conversations and inspiring interviews with experts and thought leaders from all over the world.

Known for her authentic, honest and soulful approach, Connie's transformative work is all about re-connecting with your heart and inner wisdom, embodying more love, peace and freedom, creating a mindset that empowers you, and learning to truly accept and value yourself. - via The Bravery Board on itunes

Find more from Connie Chapman here:
conniechapman.com
Instagram: @connie_chapman
Awakened Radio Podcast

A Life-Coach's encouragement to all the women who don't see their brilliance

*** This article was originally published as an email sent to the Tribe in early 2016. If you want  fresh content delivered right to your inbox, >> join! <<

A Life-Coach's encouragement to all the women who don't see their brilliance

The most interesting part of this job is losing the shock. Losing the shock that gorgeous, talented, successful, happy women are struggling, really struggling, to feel like their true self. 

When talking to these women I think,

“You are so amazing! Surely you don’t feel like you have to wear a mask. Surely youhave friends who know you deeply. Surely you, of all women, have the confidence and self acceptance to do anything you set your mind to.”


Yet, they are stuck in fear of what others think. Living with a mask on.  Crippled by self judgement. Held back by limiting beliefs. Feeling inadequate, feeling less than, feeling unworthy, like a fraud.
 
Sound familiar?
 
Even the women I look up to tell me they have these struggles.
That girl you follow on Instagram, that blogger, that celebrity, that girl who has "made it" in your industry, even me.
 
Why do we stay stuck in this?

Why not choose to live in abundance, believe you are enough, believe you are worthy, sexy, talented, and brilliant?
 
It takes time to train your mind and your beliefs. It’s okay that you aren’t there yet. But please, start. It’s about time you showed up believing that you are brilliant and deserving. It’s freaking time!
 

START HERE:

DECIDE.
Decide to move. Stop suffering and choose to step into growth. 
(Watch this video).

PAUSE.
Take time to notice your thoughts. When you say, “I’m feeling so off, I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” Yes, you do know.  Pause and sit with your question.
What’s bothering you?
Vent it onto paper, you may find you already have your answer.

MOVE.
Do something that scares you. Have that courageous conversation. Stand up for what you believe. Get honest. Go to dinner alone. Wear the dress that makes you look hellasexy. (cuz you’re allowed to!)
 
I’m done being shocked when women struggle to see their brilliance. Now, the thing that shocks me is when they would rather stay stuck than move. You can have more! Trust me, you’re not alone in your fears, but you’re also not alone in your journey.
You don’t have to stay stuck.
You have a choice.


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Searching for mentorship, coaching, or counseling? HERE ARE The 5 QUESTIONS YOU MUST ASK BEFORE COMMITTING TO A COACH

I hold a strong belief that this life can’t be done alone.

We need community.

We need outside perspective to help us see things differently, we need people to hold space for us to process, to teach us tools we don’t know, and to help us discover the greatness deep inside us we are often blind to. We need each other to help us become our own personal best. 

Throughout my life, I’ve naturally sought out teachers, mentors, and coaches.  As a kid I looked up to my older cousins and teachers, longing for their direction, and probably approval too.  As I got older, I looked to women in my local church, sought wisdom from books, blogs, and people ahead of me in my career. I hired a counselor and have had numerous coaches. I’ve had women reach out to me as well, asking to be my mentor, positioning themselves as a mentor, and treating me like I was a mentee.  

Although there is something necessary and healthy about many mentorship relationships I’ve had, I’ve also learned what unhealthy mentorship (and coaching) can look like. 

Two of my mentors, who also happen to be business partners, friends, and women who not only call me to be my best, but with whom there is mutual learning and honor. (image via The Bravery Board)

Two of my mentors, who also happen to be business partners, friends, and women who not only call me to be my best, but with whom there is mutual learning and honor. (image via The Bravery Board)

Mentorship (in the form of friendship, counseling, coaching, or otherwise) if done with integrity, can be the greatest blessing; and if done with fear or pride, can be detrimental. I’ve come to be more cautious about which voices I allow into my life, and approach my mentorship relationships with more loving boundaries. 

If you've been allowing women to pour into your life, or are looking for someone to walk alongside you as a mentor, coach, or counselor, it's important to ask yourself these 5 questions:


5 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU COMMIT TO A MENTOR:


1. Does this person want me to become my personal best?

Your mentor must always want you to become your personal best. They must acknowledge their own limitations, be able to see your journey as unique, and help you become the person you’re meant to be. Do they highlight your strengths, or remind you of your weaknesses? 

2. Does this person listen to me?

I mean really listen. Do they make you feel heard, loved, and understood? Are you welcome to be the real you in their presence?

3. Does this person live with integrity the values I hold dear?

I don’t seek mentors I don’t see living their values out with integrity. Simple as that! I obviously give them room to be human, but I am aware of how they live their lives, and if I don’t desire a life like theirs, or if they aren’t in the arena doing the work, I’ll pass. 

4. Do I leave their presence feeling confident in my skin and capabilities?

Your mentor must empower you to make your own decisions and help you learn to trust yourself. I’ve had mentors who made me feel like I knew the answers deep down, and mentors who make me feel like I needed their approval. When you get done speaking with your mentor, do they make you feel empowered to be more of you, or less of you? Do you trust yourself more, or less?

5. How does this person react when I express a difference in opinion? 

Mentorship isn’t about believing all the same things or forcing opinions and “shoulds” onto you. Mentorship is about space to be yourself and trust your journey. If you’re in a mentorship relationship where you’re not allowed to have open discussions or openly hold a difference of opinion, the relationship is probably unsafe for you in the long run. 

BONUS!!! Does your mentor think you are f*cking amazing!?

I know with every client I work with, I have something to learn from them. They are amazing women, beautiful souls, and I have the utmost respect for them. Mentorship should hold a mutual respect and awe for the other person. If your mentor wants to remain “above” you, it’s time to question whether your mentor sees your brilliance. Cuz honestly, how can they see you rise to your full potential when they don’t see all you can be!?

There are a number of criteria that play a factor in choosing a mentorship-relationship; credentials, reputation, and track record to name a few. But when searching to invite someone into your life to hold space for you, to allow you to bloom into your highest, to learn to trust yourself, and to truly come alive, ask yourself these questions. 

A true mentor wants to see you rise to the top, and is willing to let you stand on their shoulders to get there. 

Who will you invite in?

 

**Special thanks to Nisha Moodley, who inspired this post. <3


P.S. If you’re looking for someone to hold space for you and help you become your best, well, that’s my specialty. 😉 Book a free 30 minute clarity call with me and see if I am the person who can hold the space you’re looking for. 

Until then, remember how effing amazing you are. Surround yourself with women who call you to your best, who remind you of your full potential, and are willing to lift you up so you can get there.

All my best.

-M

Trailblazers Episode 3: Sarah Lajeunesse

Trailblazers Episode 3: Sarah Lajeunesse

Sarah is one of those people you meet and have a love at first sight moment. (That's how our friendship began, anyway.) Ever since I met this beautiful soul in 2015, she has continued to inspire me as a life coach, speaker, and dear friend. In the episode we discuss self care, being a woman, and finding your tribe. Sarah get's real about her breakdown in the corporate world, and how she found her footing and learned to honor her true self. Prepare to fall in love. 

Here are some of the things we touch on in Sarah's interview:

  • 9min: Wanting change vs deciding to change
  • 12min: Self care limits
  • 19min: How journaling helps your self care (grab a free 31 day journal guide here!)
  • 25min: Female emotional strength in the workplace
  • 32min: I mention not crying, but this past month I went to therapy about it and have been crying like a damn fountain on full blast ;)
  • 38min: What to do when something is "missing."
  • 42min: Searching for problems to fix vs waiting for them to come up naturally 
  • 47min: On being single and traveling alone
  • 58min: Who are you doing things for?
  • 1 hour: No one deserves to be in your life, not even family
  • 1 hour 10 min: finding your people

More about Sarah Lajeunesse:

Sarah is a lifestyle and wellness coach wildly passionate about supporting young women out of stress, overwhelm, and uncertainty and into lives that they adore. She combines her passion for yoga, health and wellness, nutrition, personal development, and self-care to help women create the life of their dreams. Through 1:1 sessions, speaking engagements,  and sharing tips and tricks on her blog, Sarah is on a mission to inspire and empower. 

 

Connect with Sarah: BLOG | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK