Overcome Loneliness | Create Genuine and Lasting Friendships

Loneliness. Have you felt it? It's that ache inside you that longs to be known, that desires to connect, to share life in a meaningful way. When I went through what I like to call my "soul growth spurt" I felt distant from my close friends, and longed to connect with women who were running the same race as me. 

Loneliness is the secret struggle so many women are facing alone... and with heaps and heaps of shame. If you've ever struggled to find meaningful and open friendships, trust me, you are not alone.

Cultivating powerful female sisterhood is not something that comes easy to me. As an extrovert, you'd think I would be better at deeply connecting, maintaining friendships, and opening up to people. I have had to work to tear down the walls that kept people at a distance, work on my confidence in who I am, and work on actually showing up in my friendships. (You teach what you've had to learn, amIright?)

I've come to realize that the kind of connection I crave takes work.

If you're like me and desire close female friendship, but fumble your way through it most of the time, here are a few aha moments in my journey:

1. Being authentically you is the best way to attract people who "get" you.

It just makes sense, if you are showing up as someone else in your everyday life, or are a chronic people-pleaser, you're going to attract people you don't feel totally yourself around!  Start by getting comfortable with you. Be at home in your own skin. Learn to love yourself. When you see someone standing in their power, they are magnetic! Owning who you are will make you irresistible to "your people."

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2. Everyone, deep down, longs to be known.  

Yep. We are all a lot more alike than we are different. We all have a longing to connect and be known. You are not alone! Once you realize that, messaging the acquaintance from work and asking her for coffee won't be so scary. Opening up about the real stuff will be (a little more) easy! Being vulnerable and deeply loving in your friendships will eventually feel like home.

3. You've got to show up.

This is the one slapping me in my face at the moment. Friendships are built over time and with consistency. They take investment of time, love, care, and mutual understanding. If you're feeling lonely and you know you have friends who have your back, ask yourself, "how good of a friend have I been to them?" The state of your friendships has a lot to do with how you show up within them. Put a little effort in and watch them bloom.

You've got what it takes to create a life you love. From owning your story, to standing in your power, to cultivating meaningful friendships, you've got this.

Want to cultivate deep relationships with women who can support you, cheer you on, and hold space for you? 

I want to invite you to join me in my new group mentorship program! This 8-person virtual group coaching space will allow you to dive deep on your journey with women just like you. It's by application only and is priced so anyone can participate! I can't wait to have you. 

How to host an epic ladies night to strengthen your friendships.

I’ve been to a ton of women’s events. From bible studies to accountability groups to cookie baking nights to brunch to wine and movie nights- I’ve done it all.  Although done with good intent, these events often feel forced, unsatisfying, and seriously lacking vulnerability.  As someone who craves deep connection, the small talk, gossip, and topical conversation that did not relate to the whole group made me wonder if there was another way.

A little over a year ago, I created a ladies night that I wanted to be a part of and started hosting it with friends. It was a no cell phone, no small talk kind of event. There were delicious snacks and the whole focus was on vulnerability and connection. I invited 10 girls over and called it a Glow Gathering.

It had major success. Every time I hosted the monthly gathering, there were tears, laughter, phone number exchanges, and hugs. I was thanked time and time again for facilitating the group, and I began to put together in my mind what was so different about this meeting compared to the ones of the past.

Here are the 7 things I did to insure an epic ladies night that strengthens friendship. 

(Be sure to steal them for your own gal's night.)

1. They were focused on being real, the whole time

I established from the start that we were being authentic, and set the tone by being authentic first.

2. Everyone got a chance to speak

The shy and quiet ones, I see you. Your turn. We wanted to hear from everyone.

3. There was a purpose, but not too outlined, scripted, or forced

I started the evening with 5 simple questions and a theme everyone knew in advance.  It led the conversation, but was able to flow where it needed to.

4. There was no gossip

No one spoke a word about other people.

5. It was a safe space

It was established from the beginning that there would be no talk of what was said to people who did not attend or after the event.

6. No grammin’

Cell phones were put up, so people felt free to share without being an instagram prop and people felt like others actually cared, with there being no distractions.

7. Gratitude

We ended each night by honoring someone in the room, while honoring ourselves. It is always the most emotional part of the evening.

If you are a host of frequent ladies nights, try to implement these tips to make your night extra juicy and meaningful. Trust me, it will strengthen your friendships and maybe create new ones. 

If you live in Springfield, MO or surrounding cities, I offer a small group coaching session called Come Alive Gatherings for you and your friends. If you are wanting deeper connections and to do something extra special for your group of gals, check out what past hosts are saying and let's get in contact. 


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