3 ways to take the lead in your life

 

You’d be shocked at how small I can become. Like those skilled contortionists at the circus, I molded myself into an ideal image I thought I was expected to uphold. I knew how to play the game, keep everyone smiling, keep everyone clapping.  


I tried to make everyone happy, lived for other people’s expectations, never asked questions, and avoided stirring the pot at all costs. 
 
"Play nice.
Play your part.
Play it safe.
Play small."

 
I tried so damn hard to fit into a box; a box that I willingly jumped in, I might add!  
The prison of expectations and the shame for falling short was not something I could blame others for. I was the one who needed the approval. I was the one who wanted to have everything under control. I was the one playing so small…
 
that is until I decided to own my life, play to my strengths, and let go of the opinions of others. 
 
I dare you to play big. Reject the role you were never meant to play and take the lead in your own life. Free yourself from the prison. Jump out of the box. Give yourself permission, I promise the only one keeping you small is you. 

If you’re unsure where to start, here are 3 of my go-to tips to get aligned + come alive:
 
1. Get honest + put pen to paper! 
Journaling is one of the most effective ways to discover who we are, what we want, and coach ourselves through our mental blocks. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time either. Give yourself 5 minutes a day. The hardest part is just sitting down to do it!
 
2. Find your true tribe!
Take an inventory of the people in your life. Are they supportive of your growth? Do they help you become a better you? Do they know the real you and love you for all your strengths, quirks, and weirdness? If not, it’s time to make a shift. Don’t waste any more time trying to convince people of your worthiness. Get around people who already know; they are your true tribe. 
 
3. Take a risk.
You can’t play big if you’re committed to staying small and safe! Go to that dance class that intimidates you. Ask a new friend out to coffee. Apply for the job. Make the damn thing. Commit to your growth + healing. Just make a move, girl! 


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How I Satisfied My Need for Approval

How I satisfied my need for approval through self love, plus 10 affirmations to help you find self acceptance.

Self love. Self approval.  They are possibly the the biggest trends in personal wellness right now. When I was first introduced to the idea of self love, I wanted to reject it. It felt prideful and self indulgent.  I thought (in hindsight), that I was better and tougher than needing to love myself. I have learned since then that self love is a necessity to thriving as a healthy, whole person.  The shift for me did not come all at once, but one way of thinking truly helped me stop seeing it as indulgence and start seeing it as necessary.

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It was the shift from self love and approval to self acceptance.

One of the biggest struggles I have faced in my personal growth is a deep need for the approval of others.  In a life coaching session with my first life coach, I realized not only did I tend to seek approval from others, but I wasn’t even comfortable with the thought of loving and approving of myself. It was quite obvious that the reason I so deeply sought approval from others was because I refused to approve of myself. The word approval made me feel like I had to do something to earn it. I felt that if I approved of myself then I must think really highly of myself and must think I have “arrived” so to speak.  My coach was amazing at helping me see a new perspective and asked me if I knew of another word for approval that I may be more comfortable with.

   Self ACCEPTANCE.

As I spoke it out loud I felt my spirit shift. It was a huge “ah-ha” moment for me. Acceptance of myself felt more gentle. It came with peace and ease. The definition of the word refers to welcoming, having favor for, or receiving what is offered. (dictionary.com).  

Self acceptance gives room for the real you. It does not base your self love on whether or not you feel worthy.  It is not complacent.

SELF ACCEPTANCE IS THE RADICAL NOTION THAT YOU ALONE ARE ENOUGH. 

You are enough today. In this moment. As you are. This is your journey. Your path. Your body. Your mind. I promise you, when you make peace with who you truly are you will no longer desire the approval of others.


Here are 10 affirmations to shift your thinking to acceptance:

  1. I  accept myself just as I am.

  2. I am open to love.

  3. I am worthy of good things.

  4. I trust that there is a divine plan for my life.

  5. I am happy in my own skin.

  6. My body is a blessing.

  7. I am able.

  8. I attract love and give love freely.

  9. I honor myself with my thoughts.

  10. I only compare myself to my best self.


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Let's get the convo going!

leave a comment with your story below & how self acceptance changes your self love game.

+++feel free to share this truth-bomb on insta, facebook, pinterest, or print it out for your bathroom mirror!

xx, Madison