The Calm Collective Podcast with Cassandra Eldridge

Healing Our Wounds, Living Out Our Values & Rising in Our Self Worth

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My conversation with mindfulness blogger and photographer Cassandra Eldridge was powerful! 

I spoke on:

  • how my past childhood wounds molded my work in coaching

  • leaving organized religion to co-create a life that aligns with my TRUE essence

  • showing up in self-worth in relationships

  • the difference between self-worth & confidence

  • my relationship to money, building a 6-figure business and a team 

And so so much more, including worthiness in the financial realm, our beliefs around thriving in our purpose and careers and talk around my program, Awaken Her Soul. Listen in on our juicy conversation:

Or click over to the podcast here

-Madison


P.S. If you enjoyed this podcast, check out my convo with Kylie from Zura Health


In the spirit of self-trust,

The Soul Aligned Morning is a meditation I created in support of becoming quiet

and trusting and valuing your inner voice. 

Evangelical Trauma; Getting Free to be Fully Me

Evangelical Trauma; Getting Free to be Fully Me

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Last week I found a journal from 2011 full of prayers while sorting through old memories from my time as a missionary in Mexico. As I skimmed through, I found my young, earnest heart pleading for the locals’ hearts to be opened, full of repentance for talking too much and taking up too much space (once again) at the team meeting, and asking God to make me different so I could honor Him. 


“God, why did you make me like this if I’m supposed to be meek and quiet? I don’t understand why I have all these desires to speak, teach and be seen if I’m not supposed to. Can you take them from me? I just want to glorify you.”


In other words: “God, can you strip me of everything I Am, break me, humble me, so I can be more like they say you want me to be?”


Make me less. 

Make me less. 

Make me less.

My trauma in the church didn’t look horrific;

I just asked me to be less, different,

something other than who I really am.

It taught me I was bad, filthy rags, broken, so broken in fact, that God’s perfect son had to die for me to be made worthy… and apparently that’s called a miracle. 


It taught me others are to be feared, along with my own heart, intuition and desires. 


I was afraid of who I was made to be.

(Who wouldn’t be, if you’re so bad someone has to die for God to want to be near you??) 


Subtle trauma. Unconscious wounds. Deep core beliefs about who I am and who others are.


And...


It also was a safe place for me for years, a refuge I sought from my childhood trauma. Church community was the family I needed, the container for worship of something bigger than me, the rules and stability when life at home was chaotic and dysfunctional. 


Until I started waking up to my wholeness and healing. 

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I found the God I was looking for all along when I realized all of me was welcome, worthy and whole. 

When I was seeking first the kingdom, wholeheartedly devoted to seeking His righteousness.... I didn’t yet know that we are already living the kingdom, if we realize the Divine inside and all around us. I didn’t yet know the gifts inside me, waiting for the dogma to get out of the way so I could really be used and free. I didn’t yet know I wasn’t broken, needing a savior or someone to atone for my sins. 

I didn’t know how good my full humanity really was. 


Now that I know, my prayer is: 


More of what’s really me. Less of everything else.

More forgiveness. Less resentment.

More abundance. Less scarcity.

More honesty. Less dogma.

More humanity. Less masks.

More grace. Less striving. 

More love. Less hate. 

More understanding. Less assumptions.

More healing. Less identifying with my pain.

More inclusivity. Less judgment.


My time knee deep in Evangelical Christianity provided me something I needed at the time, and, it perpetuated a deep sense of fear, unworthiness, scarcity, and self-denial. 


It’s taken me a long time to see the goodness in it, it’s taken a lot of healing to let go of the anger and find my way back to my innate goodness (You can read more about that deconstruction and exit in this blog post).


That’s the fullness of life we want to invite you into at The Way Home Retreat.


Where all of you is welcome and old programming of “not enough,” shame, and fear no longer run your life. 


No matter what your spiritual wounds or trauma look like, you are entitled to wholeness, freedom and living in your divine fullness. This is your invitation. 


Learn more about The Way Home Retreat HERE. We have 10 seats left, and would love for one of them to be yours. 

-Madison


Finding Personal Power through Letting Go of Old Narratives

Finding Personal Power through Letting Go of Old Narratives

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When you find yourself questioning what you once saw as the “right” way of living, and determine that it no longer meshes with how you feel and experience the world, what do you do? 

One option is to take the brave step towards deconstructing your life and examining it, one precious piece at a time.

To discover and break down barriers is a frightening concept to face, but I can say that being willing to face my fears of losing my identity and belonging in religion has brought me so much richness on the other side.

After years in a community of faith, I found myself questioning the cultural norms that I had accepted for so long.

Questions arose as I became aware of my inner spirit coming into conflict with what I saw being lived out around me. I eventually allowed myself to claim my own voice, and what was once a tender topic gradually became a tool for self-empowerment. 

If you’re on the path of evaluating your faith, or cultural norms, take a moment to pause and look around at your community, at the messages you view in social media, at your inner dialogue, and ask yourself: 

 

Am I clinging to things

and people that don’t serve me?

Have I become too comfortable

with things that are unhealthy?

 

—What do I need to let go of?—

 

Sometimes we need to take a look inward in order to allow ourselves to discover who we truly are. 

 

This is not a topic limited to Christianity or Religion, but simply a larger question of what it means to be willing to let go of parts of your identity or community when they no longer feel safe or supportive.  

Whether you’re already on your own path through deconstruction, or you have come through to the other side after facing some tough questions, I hope you’ll find some encouragement in My Conversation with Kristen Lohr or in my story about leaving Evangelical Christianity. 



In the spirit of self-trust,

The Soul Aligned Morning is a meditation I created in support of becoming quiet and trusting and valuing your inner voice. 



The Real Female Entrepreneur Podcast: New Patterns for Unapologetic Happiness

Changing Your Life and Overcoming Trauma Through Boundaries 

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I had a great time on The Real Female Entrepreneur, connecting about self-care, healthy boundaries and successfully handling toxic people.

Are your stand-by coping mechanisms still serving you?

 If you’re feeling stuck in a place you don’t want to be, it’s time to start practicing new patterns that work for [the real] you.

 Every moment, you’re teaching people how to treat you, even if you aren’t consciously trying to.  As you become more successful, hours in the day seem fewer, while responsibilities and commitments grow.

You can’t keep shining your beautiful light if you never replenish your ember.

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to practice radical self-care. Click in and level up your self care game with The Soul Aligned Morning.