Be as you wish to seem. -Socrates
One of my biggest fears since I have began coaching is not that I will fail, (although I’ve had that thought,) It is that I will not be as I seem to be.
What a shame if I was a successful coach, encouraging and loving people, but the people in my everyday life, like friends and family, did not feel that same love from me.
What a shame if I had a perfectly curated photo with beautiful quote on instagram, but was not living out the quote in my daily life.
What a shame if I wrote blog posts about taking care of my body and my mind, but was too busy to do those things!
I don’t think the desire, to be as I wish to seem, is anymore a struggle of a coach as it is an issue of integrity for anyone, particularly in the social media world. There is so much temptation to curate a lifestyle online that is only partially there in reality. We wish to seem a certain way, it’s a mask in a sense. It covers up who we really are with a similar, yet distorted, curated, perfected, filtered versions of ourselves. That version, is who we wish to seem to be. Or maybe even just who we wish to be.
If we are not careful, we can lose ourselves in the wishing and the seeming, and start to believe that if we seem like it, then we are like it.
Unfortunately, no matter how perfect our media accounts are. No matter how witty, how artistic, how wise, curated, or even happy we seem to others, it doesn’t make it real. And that fact is terrifying. Because at the end of the day when you log off social media, or go home, if you are not living the life you wish to seem to be, you’re unfulfilled. And I just won’t settle for that.
So, I have made a commitment to be as I wish to seem. And I simplified it, cuz everything is better made simple.
4 life-hacks for being your best:
1. Be as you wish to seem.
Being as you wish to seem is not about refraining from sharing beautiful images. It’s not about refraining from sharing a quote that inspires, or sharing the highlight of our day! Share the best, share what inspires, share beauty, encourage, and love.
But just don’t let it end there.
2. Take off the mask.
I will not lie to you. When you take off that mask, you may not love what you find at first. This doesn’t mean sharing your ugly moments, health concerns, or relationship issues with the general public. This is being real with yourself and your safe people. Tell them what you want, show them where you are, and be honest. (ps. not everyone deserves this kind of intimacy with you, read about safe people and figure out who your people are).
3. Put on radical acceptance.
Approach that raw version of yourself with grace and acceptance. Don’t judge her for not matching up to what you’ve tried to curate her into. Don’t judge her for being in progress. Let her have an “off day,” an ugly cry, then move on.
4. Grow into your best.
Once you can see yourself in grace and acceptance, half the work is already done! Living the life you wish to seem is more close than it has ever been. It’s time to be courageous with yourself. Do the things you long to do. Start to do the self work. Acknowledge the things you want to change, and in love, make the changes!
Share with your friends what lights you up. Go to coffee with someone because their presence is enough. (And sometimes, be fully there without taking a photo or sharing it!) Be honest with yourself about what you want: if you want a lifestyle like so-n-so, go LIVE it. If you’re inspired by her confidence or ability to travel or the way she pursues her passions, go, find your confidence. Go on the trip you are dying to do on. Go and live, in real life, all the desires of your heart.
Be as you wish to seem. Be your best.